SUICIDE


I opened my eyes and all I could see was water around me. I tried to hold my breath, but I gave up and could feel the water gushing down inside me. My heart ached and my chest was heavy but still, no desperation to breathe air gripped me since, I had lost the desire to live. Just laying there, embracing death, I was leaving behind the problems and troubles YOU gave me.

As I sank deeper into an obscure world, my mind raced through the painful moments- the moment I realised your hatred for me and the moment you crushed me just like people who walk away, stepping on a beautiful flower and never bothering to look back. I was soaring high but, you pulled me down. You thrusted failures and sorrows on me but, never gave me a reason. At last, I was tired and decided to part ways with you.

I did not live at peace so, I was glad to at least die at peace. There was no one; just me and the waves, stealing my breaths gradually. But, suddenly I felt a strong force pushing me up, forcing me to live again and to face my failures and problems. I was completely befuddled. Splashing the water fiercely, I tried to overpower the force but, I failed like I always had in anything I did! I wanted to scream 'Let me die' but, my throat choked. As I was pushed to the surface, to the world I was abandoning, I could barely open my eyes to see my saviour. I turned around to see who it was and there you were, holding my hand to not let me go.

Even through the dizziness, I recognised you instantly. Your eyes were riveted on me. But, why did you save me when you only gave me pain? Why did it bother you when I was leaving you?

"You're such a coward" LIFE said. I was puzzled.

"My relationship with everyone, not only with you, is tough. I am not easy with anyone. I made you fail several times and I was not fair with you but, I did it all only to make you stronger. And you were just going away, far from me. If you loose me once, I won't come back to you ever again. "

My heart fluttered and a sharp pang of guilt took hold of me.

"I thought, you and me, would make a beautiful ending. I wanted you to leave me, to die but only after living me happily, after achieving your dreams. I was sure that you would never leave me halfway. But, I was so wrong! You never had the audacity to even start climbing, only watching the heights from a distance intimidated you" my life continued.

'Forgive me' is all I could manage to utter.

"Only strong people deserve me. I don't waste my time on weak ones. Goodbye."

You took me and threw me again to make my way to the place I deserved. This time, I tried to breathe air, but you did not let me. I was struggling, moving my limbs violently as I could not breathe anymore. My face turned red and I coughed badly.

I screamed loud enough to wake myself up from a bad dream. There was no water around me and I was breathing, fortunately. Through confusion, I smiled for I know now, the meaning of LIFE. 😊






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