DARK ME, DARKER YOU



It was hard to leave that place.
Where I steadily grew, where I danced and swirled, 
where freedom had the sweetest taste. 
But, I had to of course.
They pushed and I squirmed out,
finally said goodbye to my mother's womb. 
As the nurse held me, those wrinkles on her forehead and a straight line 
on her lips, couldn't tell me what was she sad about?
Did I pee on her?
My confusion solved soon when some terrible words 
were served to my mother.
'Apologies. It's a BLACK girl'

I was thirteen and I remember my crazy love for aircrafts.
Dreaming of flight attendants, how passionately I imitated actions
 emergency exits, seat belts and oxygen masks.
You said 'Shh shh sh..'. Do you remember?
You said 'Beauty works here and you are not beautiful'
Shushed my actions, my dreams and now they are lost
somewhere in the dark, darker than my skin. 

In the late teens, I wanted to taste love.
What is it like- sweet, sour or bitter?
While boys roamed holding those fair-skinned creamy hands like dove,
I always walked the corridors of my college alone.
If anyone ever asked me out, he would joke
   ‘Just bring me a coffee, I already have with me a dark-
   chocolate brownie.

At twenty-three, my marriage resume didn't have the word- FAIR.
The word DARK, though written in the same font 
as words like educated, seemed too large to be negated. 
It shouted at its level best
'Please! Don't marry her. She is filthy, she is outdated.
Why? Can only fair be lovely?

They said 'Black is the new sexy' and I couldn't apprehend.
For I saw everything black in the trend- from the black shirt with 
folded sleeves on your fucking boyfriend to 
the classy black jaguar he owns.
But, when will my black skin become #trending #sexy?
Maybe never!
Maybe the bright colours will always look brightest on me.
Maybe the skirts will always look pretty on white, not me
Maybe no white will marry a black like me.

Tonight, I again seclude myself and watch the sky 
as its skin will share the colour with mine. 
Tonight, I again sleep on the silly hopes that
I will savour the same sweetest freedom
 I tasted in my mother’s belly.

   And that a new morning will illuminate your black souls 

Comments

  1. GST Courses Delhi19 September 2017 at 23:13

    Hi, extremely nice effort. everybody should scan this text. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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